jersey shore

That's not to imply that I would actually watch it.

The Pauly D Project gets a premiere date.

"So they're real? The babies with wings?" - Snooki

"He wants to act like shit, then live in the toilet." -Ronnie

"When people function this early in the morning, this isn't real life to me. This is like a video game." -Snooki

"She's definitely having a Sam moment." - Sammi

"Wow. On the surface, Jionni seemed like a nice kid. But at the end of the day, that kid was a f***ing wankster." -Mike

"Do you know what a kuka is?" - Deena

"You don't have to f--king do an intervention. I'm not addicted to heroin. I'm just addicted to my boyfriend's penis." -Snooki

“I hit my head against the concrete wall. It hurts.” – Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino

"So you're winning, while you're twinning, 'cause you got two twin chicks." - Pauly D

"It looks like Beauty and the Beast or some shit. I feel like people are just gonna start singing out their windows." - Vinny

"You know, Italy's like that big country. No, no! Europe is that big country." - Snooki

Doesn’t something just seem right with the world when there’s a brand new season of Jersey Shore train wreckery (or, let’s say ship wreckery in this case as the gang moves from the east coast to Italy) to look forward to?

Ronnie decks Mike after blow-up with Sammi.

The Broadway cast of the Importance of Being Ernest takes a little time out from being, well, earnest.

It’s just possible that our friends in Italy don’t completely get how to get with the program.

“It’s good to cry dog, know what I mean?” – Coach Situation to Ron

“Mike’s bringing up Miami? It’s like, that’s not cool bro.” – Ron

“Once again, one step forward, two step backs.” – Ron

“This is not god. God is not your ego.” – Vinnie

“She went to work in her dress from last night.” – The Situation on Snooki

“How many times did I try to tell you that Ronnie was cheating on you, you dumbass!” – Snooki to Sammi

“I can smell the fake tans and the hair gel already.” – Ron

Obviously, some people are going to scream and hiss and moan at this selection, but hear me out, I beg of thee.

As the kids return to Seaside Heights, New Jersey for the second time, I think the one thing we can easily say is that we’re definitely in for more of the same.

Jersey Shore phenomenon Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino paid a visit to Long Island native Howard Stern’s Sirius satellite radio show yesterday, and the results were rather interesting and entertaining.

"Yo, she's so fake dog, she broke the bed, dog." - The Situation, on Angelina (and her situation)

"If you want to f--- ten guys in one day, you can, that's your f---king business." – Angelina's friend Gina, to Angelina

"How does it feel, Jenny, to have the crap beat out of you from me? I'm basking in it." - Sammi

"I always had balls, honey." - Sammi to JWoww

"If I walked through a church, I'd probably burst into flames to be honest with you." - Ronnie

"Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to deal with women, and I feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country." - Snooki on men, women, and the lesbian rate in this country

"I can't believe she would step on the only toes she had in the house." – Pauly D on Angelina

"This guy had too many Miami Vices." - Pauly D on Ronnie

"Well, considering I made out with both of youse…" - Angelina, with reference to Pauly D and The Situation

What does it mean that Mad Men and Jersey Shore both debut their new seasons within four days of each other in late July (July 25th at 10PM on AMC, and July 19th at 10PM on MTV, respectively)?

Whether you're laughing with the Jersey Shore gang, or more likely laughing at them, I'm here to say that it's okay to be mega-fist pumping-kill that beat psyched about the return of Jersey Shore (Season Two premieres July 29th on MTV).