weeds

“He had it figured out; only thing that was important to him was the happiness of the people he loved. And he had a mini-fridge – he was a visionary. Or a possible diabetic.” – Andy

“Demitri makes me nervous. He makes me feel short, and sleight. I kind of want to touch his bicep – like once – why is that?” – Andy

“C’mon Nance, these are well-respected members of high society. They do coke.” – Doug

“Hey, uh, I’m murdering somebody. Killing ‘em. It’s bad – bloody. Anybody care? No? Living your myopic lives? Ok, cool.” – Andy

“You’re really good at burning shit down. In prison were you and her like, ‘Hey, I’m an arsonist, you’re an arsonist, let’s get together and be lesbians?’” – Andy

“I’m sorry, you might want to go away because I don’t like you, and I have a bad habit of losing things I don’t like in fires.” – Zoya

“You have no idea what a good day this is turning out to be!” – Nancy to the SCC agents, sticking up her middle finger at Counsellor Ed.

“You’re in Humboldt, now – where property laws say I can defend my land against any and all aggressors, trespassers, and interloping-nightmare-bitches from the past!” – Heylia James

"Gather ye balls! Don't just sit on 'em, show 'em to the world!" - Charles

"I can do freaky. Am I getting old? Did I die in Copenhagen? I did, I couldn’t speak the language, I died." – Andy

As terrific an actress as Mary-Louise Parker is, would Weeds be better off without Nancy Botwin at this point?

"I can be a real person, I can, I've been one before. It was... good." - Nancy

"Sure, maybe she possibly, let's say probably, fled from us. Who in this room hasn't fled? It's a family flaw." - Andy

Seeds of success are being sown for what could the show's final season.

The seventh season of Weeds premieres on Monday, June 27 at 10 p.m. on Showtime.

"I wanna get to know my sperm daddy." - Silas

It’s been a weird sixth season of Weeds, so it makes sense that I’m weirdly looking forward to tonight’s season finale (10PM on Showtime).

"Who killed Pilar Zuazo?" - Vaughn

"I slept with 14 guys my junior year... I have had herpes for 27 years," - Patricia, a high school classmate of Nancy's

"Ohhhh, a strip club. I'll put my sweatpants on!" - Doug Wilson

"Little dude, pay for the popcorn. Or I will blow this rape whistle and then punch you." - Concessionaire

Not even Zack Morris can save this.

"I could be a carny." - Doug Wilson

There was a moment during "Felling and Swamping," last night's installment of Weeds, the second episode of its sixth season, when I thought maybe I was wrong. But then, no, I wasn't.