American Weed, "Marijuana Dreams": do you love me, Mary Jane?

First and foremost, I believe marijuana should be legal -- across the board, in every state -- for consumption by adults over the age of 21. Thankfully, the further society gets from the Reagan Era "Just Say No" drug philosophy, the closer we get to legalization. Some states are actually very close to marijuana legalization. These "medical marijuana" states allow patients to obtain a card which grants them the ability to grow their own marijuana or purchase marijuana from a "pot store" called a dispensary. 

The idea of the dispensary is a great one. A store that you can walk into legally and buy the highest quality weed around? Sign me up! Unfortunately, in practice, medical marijuana has turned into something of a shell game, where "patients" are forced to invent an illness in order to obtain a medical marijuana card and dispensary owners are forced to take on the responsibility of "caregiver." In reality these "caregivers" are more akin to sommeliers, offering advice on which buds pair best with which munchies.

Look, I get that there are legitimately sick and dying patients who get much needed relief from marijuana. But let's stop pretending that these dispensaries are the equivalent of a doctors office and these growers are in the business of saving lives. The growers are in the business of selling pot, and the "patients", the vast majority of which are your run of the mill stoners, are in the business of getting high. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that arrangement.

The argument surrounding legalization should cease to be "Does marijuana really have medicinal qualities?" and become "Do adults have the right to decide what they put in their bodies?" There is no reason these dispensary owners have  should have to jump through legal hoops and incessantly refer to their weed as "medicine." A dispensary should operate just like a liquor store. You walk in, your pick out your purchase, you show your I.D., you go home and get f*cked up. You shouldn't have pretend to have glaucoma or limp around with a cane to have the right to buy marijuana.

To American Weed's credit, the show does a good job of not taking sides or pushing one agenda or another. At it's core, it's simply a show about a bunch of guys doing a job: growing and selling pot. Those of you who are familiar with my reviews know that I'm generally not a huge fan of reality shows about people doing their jobs (Ice Road Truckers, Deadliest Catch, NY Ink, Dirty Jobs, and so on). My job sucks enough, so unless you're a 1960s Advertising Executive, an owner of a chain of chicken Restaurants in New Mexico, or a Baltimore City Murder Poh-Lice, I have very little interest watching you do yours. This rule of thumb mostly holds true for the Stanley Brothers, the stars of American Weeds. Sure, they seem like an affable enough bunch, and their weed looks scrumptious, but I have no interest watching a guy transport potted plants from one green house to another.

"Marijuana Dreams" features a relatively interesting subplot involving a group called Team Fort Collins, which opposes medical marijuana. Scoop Collins, a former school teacher, leads TFC and has successfully lobbied the state to add a referendum to an upcoming ballot regarding the legal status of medical marijuana in Colorado. If the referendum passes, the Stanley's and all of the other growers will be out of business. I wish I could tell you how the vote played out, but I may or may not have passed out before the conclusion as a result of the fatty of OG Kush that I may or may not have burned while watching American Weed.