[This review was written by TVGA rising star MaryAnn Sleasman.]
Quick Take: Army Wives, "Winds of War" and "Perchance to Dream"
A hurricane blasts through Fort Marshall and everyone benefits.
Review: Army Wives, "Winds of War" and "Perchance to Dream"
(S0601 & S0602) I saw the Army Wives promos and I thought to myself, “Self, this looks like Desperate Housewives in the Army.”
I was right. I didn’t want to be right. I like to be pleasantly surprised when movies, books, and television that I deem awful are actually awesome, but in this case, I reluctantly raise my victory flag.
Army Wives is the crown jewel of the “new” Lifetime Network, but unfortunately, that just means that it’s an updated version of the same thing, namely schlocky stuff my mom watches, movies that make men look like monsters, and lipservice towards the idea of female empowerment.
But hey, my disdain for Lifetime Network aside, here’s what happened at Fort Marshall when Hurricane Nina made landfall in the 2-part season premiere:
Claudia Joy’s husband retires because he doesn’t want a desk job at the Pentagon, then, when the hurricane destroys Fort Hope, changes his mind about retiring when he’s offered a desk job at Fort Marshall. Despite breaking his promise that it’s “her turn” now, Claudia Joy swallows her disappointment with a Stepford smile because that’s how a good wife does. Thanks for the pointers, Lifetime.
Roxy flounders at packing up her house for the relocation to Fort Hope. She turns down an offer from a businessman who wants to buy The Hump because she disagrees with the changes he plans to make. Luckily, Hurricane Nina lays waste to Fort Hope (“there were casualties” being repeated at least three times just in case we don’t understand how sucktastic the hurricane was) and her husband is reassigned back at Fort Marshall, saving her from both moving, and being forced to sell the bar. Oh, and she wrecks her minivan in a scene that was supposed to be thrilling, but was really just filler, since the previews clearly showed that it was Denise who ended up in the hospital, not her.
Denise winds up in a coma after some windows explode at the hospital as she frantically looks for a defibrillator when a patient codes. Maybe people really do go airborne when windows explode in a hurricane, but I still thought it looked laughably ridiculous. Her coma-induced dreamland, however, was pretty sad. There was a lot of cheesiness there, one again, Lifetime pounding that point home that the only truly happy woman is one who has a full table of kids and grandkids at Thanksgiving, but that final scene, when Denise realizes what’s going on, what it means if she gets in the car with her dead son, all joking aside, it was a pretty powerful scene.
So all in all, despite the end of the previous season setting everyone up for some serious change, Hurricane Nina renders all of that obsolete and Army Wives launches its sixth season with the status quo intact…a lot like the network that it airs on.
About the author
Eric is the publisher and revered leader of TV Geek Army… at least in his own mind. TV Geek Army is a place for serious TV reviews and news for serious fans of great television. Contact: eric-[at]-tvgeekarmy.com