Quick Take: Doomsday Preppers, "It's All Gonna Hit The Fan"
"I'm most afraid of the flu." - Donna
Review: Doomsday Preppers, "It's All Gonna Hit The Fan"
(S0105) I have officially come full circle on Doomsday Preppers. At first I hated the show and the whack jobs it featured. Then I embraced their particular brand of insanity and learned to enjoy it. Now, I'm all in. I mean ALL IN.
I, Lucas High, am officially a prepper.
Unlike Martin Colvill, a retired cop turned long-haul trucker, I am not prepping for a worldwide economic collapse. Nor am I a mega-germaphobe like Donna Nash who spends up to 20 hours a day attempting to rid her her home of deadly viruses. I'm certainly not like Kevin O'Brien, who believes his Florida home will be flooded after a shift in the Earth's axis.
No, I'm preparing for a much more dire situation. Financial analysts at Bare Sterns (which may or may not be a fictional global investment bank and securities trading brokerage that I may or may not have invented for the purpose of this farcical review) are predicting that General Mills, manufacturer extraordinaire of such delicious (and nutritious) foodstuffs as Totino's Pizza Rolls, is on the brink of filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy!
In preparation for the inevitable run on Totino's in the aftermath of General Mills' collapse, I have allotted a significant portion of my monthly income to stockpiling those golden brown nuggets of heaven that neither taste like pizza nor come in the shape of a roll.
In the event that Bare Sterns' prediction turns out to false, no big deal. I'll still have an entire shipping container full of Pizza Rolls. "Hope for the best, prepare for the pizza apocalypse." That's my motto.
