Quick Take: Full Metal Jousting, “The Ultimate Extreme Sport”
16 men suit (of armor) up and joust for $100,000.
Review: Full Metal Jousting, “The Ultimate Extreme Sport”
(S0101) While most of its programming tends to challenge just how deserving the History Channel is of its own name, you can’t deny that it still offers up its fair share of... intriguing renditions of the truth. In days of yore, the greatest warriors throughout the land would convene to test their mettle in tournaments of a most visceral and perilous nature; at the end of a trail of hoof prints and blood, one man would emerge as the ultimate jouster.
Full Metal Jousting brings the popular medieval sport into the 21st century, pitting some of the world’s most daring riders against each other, armed with 80-pounds of steel armour and an 11-foot blunted lance. Split into the Red Team and the Black Team, the 16 men have varying degrees of experience in the sport – some having a background in theatre jousting or the army, while others are just simple philosophy students.
Each team is coached by their own jousting expert. The history and theory-heavy Aussie, Rod Walker, coaches the Black Team, and world-champion jouster, Ripper Moore, coaches the Reds. They give the guys a taste of what to expect with an exhibition match between two of their assistant coaches, demonstrating the modernized armour, weaponry, and scoring system.
It’s obvious that Full Metal Jousting wouldn’t have made it to air if it wasn’t safe, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t inherent perils in the adrenaline-driven sport. The jousters aim for the Grand Guard, a licence plate-sized target bolted high up on the chest and shoulder. A rider acquires points according to the results of their impact: a simple hit is awarded 1 point; 5 points for shattering your lance; and an oft-winning 10 points for knocking your opponent off their horse. In the name of safety, 5 points are subtracted from your score if you hit your opponent’s head.
The competitors are then given a tour of their shared barn attic/penthouse, the armoury, the stables, and the rest of the grounds. It doesn’t take them long to gear up, though they’re first acclimated to the impact of a lance by facing the ominous “battering ram.” Coach Ripper says that the key to jousting is tolerating pain, and with upwards of 2000 pounds of force on each side destined for impact at each pass, it might just be that simple, and that terrifying.
The freshman fight occurs between Red Team’s Mike, and Josh from the Black team. Josh, being a theatre jouster, appears to have both height and experience over his opponent, but Mike’s military background defends him with discipline and an early lead in the match. Limited to only eight passes, the jouster with the most points gets sent to the competition’s quarter finals, while the loser takes to the team’s reserves pending a teammate’s potential injury.
Josh seems to finally catch up with his horse’s stride when they upgrade to thicker lances for the final few passes, and gets a jump when he breaks his lance on Mike’s Grand Guard. The lead ultimately sticks, but even though Josh emerges victorious, Mike isn’t completely out of the running.
The whole competition is overseen by the celebrated world champion jouster Shane Adams. His knowledge of the sport can only be deemed “knight-worthy,” offering his expertise and wisdom to competitors on both sides. He’s keenly aware of the shifting dynamic in how the teams perceive each other and themselves, recognizing potential threats, leaders, and natural jousters all in stride. His gym coach demeanour leaves little room for weakness or hesitancy, but he does so with reassurance, giving the competitors confidence and corrections where they are due.
