Jersey Shore, "Breaking Up": the smashing of the plates

Quick Take: Jersey Shore, "Breaking Up"
"Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to deal with women, and I feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country." – Snooki on men, women, and the lesbian rate in this country

Review: Jersey Shore, "Breaking Up"
(S0204) This may have been the funniest single episode of Jersey Shore yet, stemming mainly from the high drama generated from Ronnie's breathtakingly crappy treatment of Sammi, and Sammi's breathtaking capacity to be treated like trash. Well, when put like that it actually sounds kind of tawdry and sad… which it is in a way. But did I mention the hilarity?

Essentially, it's like this: Ronnie and Sammi are on something like good terms, and then they're not. Then Ronnie goes out to the club to hook up (or fight with Sammi, or both), and Sammi sits around and pouts and/or goes home. Oh yeah, and then Ronnie gets obscenely drunk during and after hooking up with said girls. But the important thing to keep in mind that Ronnie always ends the night by crawling back into bed with Sammi, which the latter pathetically allows.

So, here's the latest distillation of the Ronnie / Sammi relationship (perhaps they should brand themselves as The Relationship?):

  • "I'm waiting for you like a bitch." – Sammi
  • "You are a bitch." – Ronnie
  •  

    Meanwhile, the rest of the house must contend with the current state of affairs. Ostensibly, Sammi doesn't know for sure that Ronnie is cheating, though she has her deep suspicions and seems intent on interrogating the ladies of the house instead of simply asking Ronnie himself.  As a guy, I find it surprising that JWoww and Snooki didn't run (not walk) to Sammi the second they had confirmation that he was cheating on her at the club. Multiple times. And then crawl into bed with Sammi at the end of the night. Multiple times. Did I mention this happened multiple times? On television. Multiple times?

    I was fascinated at first that JWoww thinks of the idea to go to a "local place" to "type" an "anonymous" letter to Sammi in order to expose Ronnie's cheating ways. Has someone been reading up on their 19th Century Victorian epistolary-influenced literature, I perchance to inquire? Further fascinating: her entreaties that the guys mustn't ever find out that it was the ladies who typed said letter. I'm wondering where else such a note of mystery may have derived from… but there I go, wondering things again that shouldn't be wondered about. And on a final note of flat out hilariousness: the letter is written in all caps and addressed to "Sam"… and they plan to leave the note under her pillow.

    On a slightly more serious note though, I do think that Angelina makes a good point, surprisingly enough, in noting that even if Sammi were to be flat out showed a video tape (such as the one called MTV's Jersey Shore that she'll be able to enjoy right now as the season airs) of Ronnie cheating that she's likely to get back with him anyway.

    That said, it's absolutely astonishing that after all of this, Ronnie goes back to Sammi for something like the 47th time at the end of the episode, and she's down for the program. Memo to Sammi: there was a reason there was a creepy silence in the room during the Questions game after "have you ever cheated on your boyfriend or girlfriend" was asked.

    It's a dysfunctional vortex of amazing powers and strength. And funny. Did I mention the funny?

    More thoughts on "Breaking Up":

  • "Ronnie, he's the president of the IFF. That's the I'm F---ing Foundation." – The Situation on the Ronnie… situation
  • "There's half naked girls everywhere. Whatever." – Snooki's soon to be ex-boyfriend Emilio to Snooki. Then, later… "I f---ed this girl tonight, I'm sorry." Give the bro credit for apologizing like a gentleman. But alas, it was all in jest.  And then Snooki appropriately and non-jokingly dumped his ass.
  • "Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to deal with women, and I feel that's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country." – Snooki on men, women, and the lesbian rate in this country
  • "I don’t like tests, it's why I didn't go to college. Don't test me." – Ronnie
  • "I swear to God, that looks like a garbage bag."  "She's wearing her luggage from last year." – Vinnie and Pauly D on Angelina's "sexy dress up" outfit
  • "You need to give up the cookie son, so you can find another one. I'm eating chocolate chip cookies every night, dog!" – The Situation, assessing Ronnie's situation, and pretty much illustrating a central tenet of the GTL lifestyle
  • I wonder how Miami residents feel about their city's nightlife represented by two clubs (Klutch and b.e.d.) over and over again.
  • "I hate you so much, because I love you, you realize that?" – Drunken logic of genius from Ronnie, to Sammi (of course)
  • "Do we have a butterface flavor?" – Vinnie, not being very nice at the gelato shop
  • By Eric - TV Geek Army "Revered Leader"

    About the author

    Eric is the publisher and revered leader of TV Geek Army… at least in his own mind. TV Geek Army is a place for serious TV reviews and news for serious fans of great television. Contact: eric-[at]-tvgeekarmy.com 

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