Quick Take: Jersey Shore, "Goin' South"
"Well, considering I made out with both of youse…" - Angelina, with reference to Pauly D and The Situation
Review: Jersey Shore, "Goin' South"
(S0201) I'm quickly reminded of the peculiar and deliciously entertaining sub-cultural vortex as showcased on Jersey Shore when we meet Pauly D driving through the pouring rain of Rhode Island to the gang's new HQ in South Beach, Miami. He says: "I can't stand this weather. You can't tan in this weather, you can't creep in this weather. You can't do anything." GTL (gym, tanning, laundry) is almost a cliché already as the goofy faux religious mantra we heard from the guys during Jersey Shore's first season, but it really hits home when you see Pauly unselfconsciously relate his offhand remark about crappy weather in the northeast.
For Pauly D, not being able to tan and not being able to creep (that is, make an amorous advancement on the ladies) literally means that you can't do anything. And there's something kind of refreshingly non-ironic about that, isn't there?
Or not. But in any case, let's head south with the gang, shall we? We learn that our old pal Snooki has a boyfriend (Emilio, "an amazing gorilla juicehead") who she will try gamely not to cheat on, and that Pauly D and Mike "The Situation" are still tight ("The Dream Team is back!" The Situation announces with reference to their alleged creeping prowess). The fellas also relate that Angelina, who bailed out of the house during Season One, may be back (and also that Pauly hooked up with her in LA). And sure enough, we soon see the self-described "bitch of Staten Island" raring to head south.
Ronnie and Sammi "Sweetheart," who had a volatile relationship during Season One, are now broken up, which no doubt will bring plenty of the drama in weeks ahead. And Vinny's still a good mama's boy from a family of 1,000 replete with uncles who plead with him to "bang everything."
The Situation and Pauly D arrive in town first, but are soon joined by the "surprise" addition of Angelina. The three decide to share a room, which seems like an incredibly poor decision, but Pauly quickly provides his GTL logic in relating that while it could go good or bad, there may be a rainy night where having a girl sharing the room could come in handy. Meanwhile, as everyone arrives the battle lines are drawn, with all the ladies outspokenly opposed to Angelina's presence.
Granted, there's a lot of haters of Jersey Shore out there, and obviously it's not a show for anyone. But for me, it's simply funny and entertaining to watch the gang get ready to go out to the club (where fist pumping and mayhem will no doubt prevail) and have a mini-scene involving The Situation and Ronnie which goes as such:
The Situation: First time wearing this shirt, dog?
Ronnie: First time.
The Situation: First time, and the last time!
Things devolve in the girls' taxi very quickly between Angelina and the ladies, when the conversation shifts from Sammi's pining for Ronnie to JWoww (count those W's now) reaching over two seats to try to claw Angelina's eyes out. Let it begin!
The devolution continues at the club, with an "obliterated" Ronnie going nuclear on Sammi – enough to almost make you feel bad for her, which is a feat – ending in calling her the dread c-word. A short time later, Angelina, Ronnie, Pauly D, The Situation, and Snooki remain to tear up the club. Ronnie pours his aggression into dancing and hooking up, which The Situation breaks down as grenades, "a bigger ugly chick," and land mines, "a thin ugly chick." He ends with: "His name is Ronnie, but you would probably call him Sloppy Joe."
To sum: Jersey Shore is back, kids.
Other thoughts on "Goin' South":
