Quick Take: Jersey Shore, "Gone, Baby, Gone"
"If you want to f--- ten guys in one day, you can, that's your f---king business." – Angelina's friend Gina, to Angelina
Review: Jersey Shore, "Gone, Baby, Gone"
(S0210) Like it has so many times this season, the action begins where the last episode's cliff hanger left off, in the midst of some kind of hair gel-fueled, GTL-infused, knock down drag out, insert cliché here blowout.
In this corner: everyone in the house, save one. And in that corner: Angelina. Oh, and her friend Gina (Angelina and Gina from Staten Island… that's just perfect right there), who provides such sage advice as, "If you want to f--- ten guys in one day, you can, that's your f---king business."
I'm not even really sure how this fight started, but it ends with Angie punching The Situation – thus meeting a seasonal requirement, as we recall last season JWoww gave him quite a nice little swift backhand to the face when the gang was in Atlantic City – followed by lots of hurtled insults that included the words "ho" and "jerk off" and "trash bag."
Strangely and a bit ironically, JWoww comes to Angelina's defense, reminding her of the AC incident and advising (if not imploring) that she stick around. JWoww's rationale is intriguing in that she feels Angelina has "paid her dues" and "deserves a spot" in the house, as though the club or the sorority has put her through enough hazing that she has earned the right to stick around the reality show (and essentially lounge around in a beach-side mansion interspersed every few days by a shift at the gelato shop) until the bitter end (of the season).
Meanwhile, the gang goes out to the club, but The Situation engineers a swift return to the house and its Smash Room with his "date" Samantha, who happens to hail from Canada (a country that produces both Nutella and moaners, we soon learn). Snooki's on a hunt for a boy toy of her own, as the now traditional countdown clock to the end of the season ticks on. She ends up "ordering" a guy named Alex to make out with her (he's no "gorilla juicehead," but he'll do in a pinch), who, it turns out, hooked up with Angelina once upon a time.
The Angelina drama raged throughout the episode, but hit its final conflagration when Snooki returned from the club with Alex. As Angelina's threats to leave the house escalated, even typically rock head-ish Ronnie makes an astute point in mentioning that she left the Jersey Shore house a week in and may (at that point) leave the Miami Beach house with a few weeks to go, insinuating that there's some kind of karmic balancing going on.
And with her bags packed and sitting on the front porch as the rest of the gang enters the house (for maximum dramatical effect, no doubt), Angelina crystallizes her position, bawling: "All of youse in this house are f---ing fake!" And, just to put a cherry on top of the Episode of Obscene Angelina-related Drama, she gets into a final, hilariously awkward hair-pulling, UFC-style scuffle with none other than Snooki. And, on a "f--- you note," as Jenni notes, Angelina departs, her tenure longer but just as tumultuous as her last on the Jersey Shore.
More thoughts on the latest Jersey Shore shenanigans:
Video: Jersey Shore, "Gone, Baby, Gone"
Check out a deleted scene from the episode, from MTV:
