More news carried on the winds of the apocalypse: Jersey Shore -- which has made this world forever-unclean with its moral and intellectual bereftness hinging on countless obnoxious idioms like "T-shirt time" -- begins its self-replication process with a spinoff, The Pauly D Project. Like the mythical Hydra, dismembering the Jersey Shore produces an entire half-hour production dedicated entirely to the walking spray-tan from the Shore.
Premiering Thursday, March 29 at 10:30/9:30c on MTV, The Pauly D Project will apparently follow the DJ's recording contract with 50 Cent's record label and beyond. Or, according to Snooki, his all-expense-paid vacation. Unless it never occurred to you that the infamous guidos and guiidettes don't need the jobs they're shown half-assing on television for a few minutes each episode, then it shouldn't come as a shock to learn how the cast of Jersey Shore really feel about their time under the spotlight. It might come as a shock, however, to learn how much money they brought in for the state.
It's hard to believe that Snooki and J-Wow have political convictions, but it doesn't amount to much more than "we don't like our governor because he's dumb."
Slated for 12 episodes, The Pauly D Project only replaces Jersey Shore instead of accompanying it, which should be counted as a minor blessing. It's still bittersweet, however, as it follows up the return of Punk'd after its five-year hiatus. Lacking its former host Ashton Kutcher - who is entertaining a different breed of moral and intellectual bereftness as Chuck Sheen's replacement on Two and a Half Men - Punk'd brings in a cavalcade of guests like Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber, who are more age-approrpraite for the immature humiliation that brings celebrities to the point of desperate, anxious, rampant paranoia.
To be slightly fair, Pauly does seem to be the one who is genuinely cheerful about working at the various retail-level gigs that the gang has been assigned to over Jersey Shore's five seasons.
I'm a card-carrying J-shore "apologist" and will be curious to see what the kids are up to in different environments.