Quick Take: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, “Blame It on the Altitude”
“Beaver Creek, are you ready to take these creaky beavers up the mountain?” - Lisa
Review: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, “Blame It on the Altitude”
(S0202) The odd thing about this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (aside from all the wonky facial plastic surgery) is that it’s not just a show about rich, elite women griping over nothing and thus earning our snark and sarcasm. Because of Taylor and Russell’s imploding marriage which we know ends in his suicide, it’s hard to turn a blind eye to the reality underlying the “reality.” It hangs over the dinner dates, the overflowing walk-in closets and limo drives like a specter of sad. It’s no surprise then that for most of this episode Taylor is relegated to background filler until the last few minutes when she has a heart to heart in the Jacuzzi with Kyle. Knowing that she was hiding a lot of trauma in her life about Russell turns out to be not much fun to watch and is definitely creating a strange tone to this fledgling sophomore season.
The producers initially try to focus on Camille this week as she’s invited the ladies to her winter home in Colorado before she has to sell it as part of the divorce decree. Lisa actually says she’s sorry for Camille having to downsize to a couple of homes. Please, please tell me she’s being funny. I can’t tell when these women are being self-deprecatingly witty because their eyebrows and mouths don’t move.
It’s a two-day trip but all of the women over pack like they’re going to K2 by way of goat and Sherpa guide. Lisa has her housekeeper show her skiing vests from her closet while she plays with her walking squeak toy (Giggy). Adrienne tries to tell Paul how to run the household while she’s gone but he’s got ADD something fierce and wanders around like a fly. She also packs two bags full of just shoes. Do these women know about baggage fees?!
At the airport, Lisa has little patience for the unprepared travelers like Kim who is all chatting and arms and flailing. As they pack into first class, Kim starts flirting before they’re even away from the gate. In Colorado, the ladies pack into a stretch limo and are told by their driver that because of road work it will take four hours to get to Camille’s house. Lisa’s eyes go big as she panics over being stuck inside a small space with Taylor and Kim for hours. Kim keeps yapping non-stop for most of the trip and then things get tense when Kyle asks Lisa if Ken was mad at her at the dinner party. Lisa says Ken was annoyed because his therapy comment just applied to his own beliefs, to which Taylor chimes, “No one asked his opinion.” Oooh, chilly. The conversation ends and all is fine when they get to Camille’s castle-inspired retreat.
Aside from some drama over the sleeping arrangements (I like how Lisa slips in and gets the best room per usual), the ladies head out to dinner together. They discuss Camille getting back into the dating world and she says she moves much slower than her ex, Kelsey. Other things we learn about Kelsey I’d rather not know? Camille waxed his body hair off and he was a terrible kisser. Bleck.
The next day they go skiing and Lisa wins the award for most ridiculous ski wear for her Dr. Zhivago-esque white fur ensemble and black fur boots. After their workout, they get served warm cookies by their ski concierges. I tell you, I’d be happy for someone to serve me a cold tube of Pillsbury cookie dough at the base of a mountain, much less baked cookies!
The mood gets grim afterwards when Taylor and Kyle have a girl pow wow in the Jacuzzi. Taylor talks about her therapy sessions and how she’s tired and resentful of Russell. She’s holding back on everything and Kyle knows it so she does her best to talk Taylor down from trying so hard if she’s so unhappy. Next week we see the repercussions.
