Quick Take: Toddlers and Tiaras, “Lollipops and Gumdrops Pageant”
“Okay, seriously stop hugging me.” - MaKenzie
Review: Toddlers and Tiaras, “Lollipops and Gumdrops Pageant”
(S0502) Most of the time, it’s the parents that earn the jaw-dropping moments on Toddlers and Tiaras as they foist their gross, low self-esteem issues, inordinate narcissism or terrible parenting choices on their little beauty queens. It’s our dirty shame that we watch this mess because we like to armchair quarterback these clueless parents and then watch what becomes of it all unfold across cheap motel ballroom stages across the country.
However, every once in awhile one of the over done kidlets turns out to be so audacious on their own that we kind of fall in love with them – like T&T star MaKenzie Myers. MaKenzie is that little girl with the “Ni-Ni” obsession (that’s her word for her binkie), that likes to implode when her makeup is applied and toss out world-weary, Southern-inflected bon mots like “my Ni-Ni is a hard working lady.” I dare you not to laugh at six-year-old Myers’ ridiculousness which is why she’s become a standout on this series and truly hogs all the attention in this episode that also features sisters Brooke and Kaylie that both compete while torturing one another, and drag queen instructed Hailey. In a typical episode without the MaKenzie factor, that lineup would be stellar but when you add Myers to the mix, they unfortunately blend into the less interesting background.
When MaKenzie’s in an episode, the tiny terror takes over and so I’ll let her have the stage in my recap too as I list the Top 5 MaKenzie Moments from the Lollipops and Gumdrops Pageant:
5. MaKenzie Has a Meltdown Over Fake Eyelashes – For a beauty queen, Myers sure does hate the process and this time she flips out over the pain of her false eyelashes burning her eyeballs. It enrages her so much she falls off the binkie wagon and cries out for her beloved and long since retired “Ni-Ni.”
4. MaKenzie Shows Belly…By Accident – In a wardrobe malfunction, MaKenzie’s white glitz dress separates at the mid-section during her opening stroll and shows off some mid-section – a big no-no if you want the judges to think you’re put together. As mom frets “They’ll take points off!”
3. MaKenzie’s Fan Club – Outside the pageant hotel, Myers and her mom are welcomed by a bunch of tween admirers that welcome the Southern wonder with screams of delight and requests for autographs. Take that, Beliebers!
2. MaKenzie Mainlines a Pixie Stick the Size of Her Body – Hoping to keep the pageant queen amped up, mom gives MaKenzie a pixie stick made for Godzilla. I confess I winced envisioning a bottle of Merlot in the picture about 10 years from now.
1. MaKenzie Stumbles! - You'd stumble too if you were hopped up on the equivalent of a small sugar producing country's GDP. Because of that, on the runway Myers goes for her foot transition and wobbles a few times. The judges take notice and we can blame that moment for MaKenzie only bringing home the Beauty Supreme title instead of the Ultimate Supreme title. The travesty!
" It’s our dirty shame that we watch this mess because we like to armchair quarterback these clueless parents and then watch what becomes of it all unfold across cheap motel ballroom stages across the country." --> perfect description !