Tilman Fertitta is a super rich dude with a background in casinos making a foray into a competition-based reality television program (Billion Dollar Buyer premieres on CNBC on Tuesday, March 22nd, 2016, at 10:00/9:00c) in which he assesses the business acumen of entrepreneurs and rewards them based on their performance.
As the below trailer explains: "Meet the man behind some of your favorite brands. He's on the hunt for the next hot product."
Fertitta is a "hospitality mogul," meaning he's the CEO of Fertitta Entertainment, Inc., which owns Landry's (a company that owns tons of restaurant chains you see at the mall like Rainforest Cafe, Claim Jumper, and Bubba Gump Shrimp Company), and Golden Nugget Casinos.
The production value of Billion Dollar Buyer strikes very much of The Apprentice (which is what I was getting at, if you couldn't tell... but I bet you could, smarty pants!), replete with seeing Fertitta exiting a helicopter. Billionaire alert, am I right? Also: hat tip (or hair hat tip) to Mr. Donald Trump for that move.
"And when Tilman Fertitta places an order, it's a very big deal," voiceover guy tells us. Big deal, like billion dollars big, get it!?
"We could buy millions of these," Fertitta then says into a phone. From a seat on a private jet. Land line phone while in the air? Fancy, says I plural!
So the basic deal of Billion Dollar Buyer is that Fertitta will spend time with two small businesses, sample their goods, get to know their owners, and assess their compatibility with Landry’s, Inc.
So, really, Billion Dollar Buyer is like an Apprentice in mini. So we might think of it as a Mini Me Apprentice, or something.
"If these entrepreneurs can deliver what he demands, it'll change their lives forever," voiceover guy notes, importantly. "If it doesn't knock my socks off, there's no telling what I'm liable to do," Fertitta adds.
And then in this clip, we see how It's Really Gonna Go Down:
"It's kind of our take on salsa verde," a super nervous looking dude (who looks like he could fit right in with the heroes of Workaholics) says.
"It's really vinegar-y to me," Fertitta replies of said salsa verde, with a look on his face that says I've Had WAY too much vinegar, yo.
Cut to a horrified/embarrassed/I ain't never gonna be a billionaire like Tilman Fertitta reaction shot from the Workaholics true brajs.
"I'm trying to figure out if y'all are only a $300,000 company because you have too much vinegar in your salsas," Fertitta says, Pressing the Issue.
Cut to suspenseful music outro cue.
And that's only one mere moment of high suspense and intrigue that we may come to expect as the Normal Scene on Billion Dollar Buy.
Here's one thing we can take to the (billionaire) bank: Tilman Fertitta will one day be President of the United States. Lock it in, as you've heard it here folks, my friends.