Ice Loves Coco, "Baby Got Business": I am Spartacus

Quick Take: Ice Loves Coco, "Baby Got Business"
"If you were a dog, wouldn't you want to sit on my face?" - Coco 

Review: Ice Loves Coco, "Baby Got Business"
(S0104) My girlfriend is, well, how should I put this... she's one of a kind. She has an uncanny ability to simultaneously enjoy the highest of the highfalutin and also the lowest of the low class when it comes to pop culture. She loves the ballet and yet she isn't above getting into a drunken screaming match with stranger at a preseason football game. She finishes Gabriel García Márquez, then rereads some Dan Brown. This discrepency in taste actually goes a long way toward explaining why she, a future doctor who looks and dresses like a J. Crew model (if J. Crew hired minorities to be models), would choose to spend her life with a guy who laughs every time he hears the word "angina."

Her taste in television runs the gambit from Mad Men and The Wire to Khloe and Lamar and Ice Loves Coco. Which brings us to today's review: Ice Loves Coco, "Baby Got Business." Nice segue, huh?

Let's get down to brass tacks. I would never watch Ice Loves Coco... willingly. But she llllooooovvvees the show, and sometimes, for love, you have to do things you wouldn't ordinarily choose to do on your own. And having spent a half-hour with the couple, I feel qualified to argue that Ice Loves Coco is basically about this very idea.

From what I can tell, the show revolves around Coco, a large rear-ended former bikini model, dragging her husband, former rapper/actor Ice-T, around and making him do stuff that a man who wasn't madly in love would absolutely loathe. First, Coco takes Ice to a fashion house where she manufactures her new clothing line, Licious. Shenanigans ensue, but thank god Ice is there. He totally saves the day when he notices that the guy who runs the Licious sweat-shop misspelled the name of the brand on the front of all of the t-shirts. And the launch party for the clothing line is just days away! OMG!!

Ice-T has always had quite a screen presence -- and Coco is no slouch, either -- but the real star of the episode turns out to be Coco's dog, Spartacus. Coco, not content merely being a fashion mogul, decides that she must make a star out of her dog. She hires a dog agent, who books Spartacus for a calendar shoot. There's only one small problem: Sparty isn't trained and can't sit still for a picture.  "Train my dog quickly so my doggie agent doesn't know I lied!" Once again, Ice-T plays the role of hero and takes Sparty to a professional trainer. The calendar shoot gets a bit dicey, but Sparty pulls it together in the end. YAYYY!!

The Licious drama continues when Coco's assistant, SoulGee, totally screws up the search for models to show off Coco's gear at the launch party. Coco wants models that represent women with curvier, more natural figures. Unfortunately, the chicks that SoulGee picks aren't nearly "thick enough" for Coco's liking. But Ice Loves Coco is a television show, after all, so everything works out in the end and the party is big hit.

Ice Loves Coco isn't as bad as I feared it would be. I don't think I'll watch it again (unless I really piss my girl off), but compared to some of the other reality fare on the menu these days, ILC is at least palatable. Ice seems to really love his wife, and in the era of the public divorce, I would much rather watch a couple in love than a couple scream at each other. I get enough of that in real life.

By Lucas High

About the author

Lucas High is a man on a mission. That mission: to watch television for a living. Drop him a line at lhigh2@gmail.com, on Facebook and on Twitter at twitter.com/LucasHigh.

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2 Comments
On: Monday, July 11, 2011
Eric - TV Geek Army "Revered Leader" said:

I must admit that Spartacus is a pretty badass name for a dog !

I have a similar mentality as your girl, Lucas, or so I like to think, as I'll enjoy an episode of Jersey Shore as much as I will Mad Men. Very very different reasons and very different kinds of enjoyment, but nonetheless! 

I think it was George Thorogood who likened his music to a good hamburger and said something to effect of, "sometimes you just need a good hamburger and you don't want a steak." I always liked that very much. 

On: Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Brooklyn said:

I know it’s not good to anticipate something like this but Meeka is definitely stirring the pot and making herself look bad on TV.  There’s only so much that I think editing has to do with all of this trouble that’s she causing on the show.  It’s good entertainment and this season is the best, hands down but I can’t wait for the next episode tomorrow.  Sadly, I won’t be at home, but I went ahead and signed up for the Sling Adapter with my DISH Network employee account so I would never miss a minute of it.  I can watch live and pre-recorded content and I don't even have to be at home to do so.  The Sling Adapter is normally $99 but with a special promotion with DISH Network, new and existing customers can now get it for free.  People can go here to get more information http://bit.ly/lDiR6U!

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