Quick Take: In The Flow with Affion Crockett, "Two Kings of Pop"
"You guys are just jealous because I'm smart enough to pick up women who grew up without a father." - Corey Holcomb
Review: In The Flow with Affion Crockett, "Two Kings of Pop"
(S0102) Affion Crockett, host of In The Flow with Affion Crockett, could be a star on television. Before you freak out and have me committed, hear me out. I'm not saying Crockett can be a star on this particular show. I would never say that as In The Flow is clearly far too terrible to turn anyone into a star.
I contend that Affion could be a star if he abandoned In The Flow all together and instead decided to audition for NBC's America's Got Talent. Crockett is obviously a talented guy. Sure, I crapped on the show pretty good last week, but even in my negative review I went out of my way to praise Affion's skill as an impressionist. It turns out he has at least one other talent as well: dancing. So, why not combine these talents and create an awesome stage act? Affion could be the world's greatest dancing impressionist -- he damn sure isn't going to be the world's greatest comedian. You're telling me Sharon Osbourne, Howie Mandel, and that guy with the accent who stole Larry King's job wouldn't rather watch a guy do a spot-on Barack Obama impression while dougie-ing than this? I know I would.
"Two Kings of Pop" opens with a cameo from R&B singer Chris Brown. You know, 'cuz nothing says funny like a guy who's capable of something like this. Affion and Brown are dressed as Michael Jackson and proceed to engage in a "Michael-Off." I know what you're thinking, and no, a Michael-Off is not a manual sex act involving Emmanuel Lewis. It's a dance-off while wearing an MJ costume. And it's not the least bit funny.
The rest of the episode is an amalgamation of various, equally humorless bits anchored by a sketch called "Female Fantasy League." The FFL is sort of an ESPN-type spoof featuring talking heads arguing about which celebrity women they would (or wouldn't) want to have sex with. Affion is joined in the sketch by former New York Giant Michael Strahan, actor David Koechner and comedian Corey Holcomb. It takes some really awful writing to make someone as funny as David Koechner seem so dull, but the In The Flow staff makes it look easy.
The show's writers fail Affion yet again in the episode's finale skit: a Kanye West music video-parody. Crockett does a hell of a job capturing West's essential "Kanye-ness" and a special kudos goes out to In The Flow's make-up department. Somehow they were able to make Affion look scarily similar to Kanye. They darkened his skin several shades and stuffed something in his lower-lip -- Brando-style -- to imitate West's swollen jaw. Like always, Affion's impression is pretty dead-on. And actually, so are the lyrics to the song parody -- which is a problem. A parody isn't funny if it sounds too much like a song the artist would actually make. Affion's Kanye-clone raps about his massive ego and how much he loves himself, hardly an astute observation given that this is precisely the subject matter that West himself raps about in his real songs.
It's a good thing Fox only ordered six episodes of In The Flow. If the show got a full season, I fear that by the time the eighth or ninth week rolled around, the entire episode would be Affion on stage dressed as Dave Chappelle staring at his phone. It's only been two weeks and the writers appear to be completely out of jokes.