Quick Take: Jersey Shore, "Meatball Mashup"
"Do you know what a kuka is?" - Deena
Review: Jersey Shore, "Meatball Mashup"
(S0407) After a dull episode where the ratio of drama to humor was dismal, "Meatball Mashup" thankfully saw the gang back to drunken giggles rather than scream sobbing. The stars of this week's trainwreck were Deena and Snooks, or Team Meatball, as they prefer to be called. While we have seen these two go pretty buckwild in the past, last night featured a level of drunkedness not seen since... okay, last season, but still. These ladies were out of control. You know it's a problem when you're too much for even MVP and Ron-Ron.
The episode begins innocently enough. Snooki, JWoww, and Ronnie settle in for another day of work at the pizza shop, though Snooki is still a little mad at her pals for daring to show concern over her potentially toxic relationship. The awkwardness is quickly diffused, however, by the promise of a weekend trip to the beach town of Riccione. Even the other pizza shop employees are excited for the gang, but this excitement turns back to irritation when JWoww and Snooki decide to take an extended shopping break. Like dutiful employees do.
Snooki makes her 50th call to Jionni. He's still pissy, and threatens to not visit. Snooks gives up and focuses on packing. Good thing, too, because these girls have a lot of clothing to pack for two days. This leads Pauly, Vinny, and Ronnie to grip about how women (and Mike) be packing crazy heavy, as they try their darndest not to crush the Fiats with all that luggage weight. The drive to Riccione goes off without a hitch, surprisingly, and once they settle into their swanky hotel, the girls and guys split up to explore. Only thing is, that word has two very different meanings. For the guys, it means spot Mike's doppelganger and saunter along the boardwalk. For the girls (or at least Deena and Snooki), it means pony up to a beach bar and get schwasty. Team Meatball rapidly loses their shit, laughing maniacally and getting into discussions of female anatomy with the bartender. JWoww and Sammi are sick of babysitting their darling drunk children, so they ditch them and head home. But the party doesn't stop for Snooki and Deena. They find a place to dance, and proceed to tear the floor up. And by "tear the floor up," I mean writhe on said floor, lose their bikini bottoms, and run into bushes. After about an hour of this, the boys, who had tracked the girls down to tell them about dinner plans, have had enough and peace out.
The rest of the house heads to a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. (Because you know a place is fancy when they have wine barrels on display, and Pauly wears a button down.) Predictably, Snooki and Deena are still too intent on dancing to remember dinner time. The gang waits as long as they can before ordering food. Only after they've all finished does Team Meatball stumble in, ready for some nourishment before the club. JWoww is so over it, but she gets even more over it when they actually arrive at the club and Deena's vagina makes its Italian debut. And boy, is it one helluva debut. Not content to merely flash a crotch shot as they exit the cab, Deena spreads her legs and grinds her ladyparts up against a pane of glass. JWoww and Sammi start yelling at Deena to be more discreet, because this is a family show goddammit, but Deena instead scampers off with Snooki to make out. A lot. It doesn't go further than a seemingly five hour game of tonsil hockey, and eventually Team Meatball collapses into an snoozing semi-clothed mess of hairspray and tanner.
The next day, the gang returns to Florence, and Snooki calls Jionni to confess her hook-up. He does not, as the boys predict, dump Snooki, but rather accepts it awkwardly. Snooki flashes a big thumbs up to her roommates, who are all lounging with bated breath. But the good news for Snooki ends there. The next day she has to work, and guys, she really doesn't like working. She's not lying. After a failed attempt to hide in the recycling bin, she and Deena finish their shift and head to the gym. In the midst of complaining about Italy's terrible drivers, Snooki hits a cop car. A stretcher is brought out for someone in the car, the boys are told to bring Snooki's license to the crash site, Snooki takes a breathalyzer test, Snooki cries, and, finally, when the boys fail to show up on time thanks to traffic, Snooki and Deena are put in the back of a cop car.
See MTV: that's how it's done. You confine the drama to small bursts, preferrably at the end, and just let these drunk idiots handle the rest of the episode. True, "Meatball Mashup" didn't have the same hilarity as, say, Snooki's infamous "Where's the beach?" outburst (which prompted her first run-in with the police), but it was definitely back on the right track. Plus, we saw Deena at her most ridiculous since her pants-dropping first night on Jersey Shore. And no Ron and Sammi bullshit. Really, what more can you ask for?
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