Doesn’t something just seem right with the world when there’s a brand new season of Jersey Shore train wreckery (or, let’s say ship wreckery in this case as the gang moves from the east coast to Italy) to look forward to?
No, you say? You have more important things to think about, what with the national debt crisis broiling, cities melting down under climate shifted heat and your favorite Rupert Murdoch-owned publications are now longer available for purchase, you say?
Well then, my astute if priority deprived friend, you have not yet born witness to the Jersey Shore Season Four trailer. Brace yourself:
Immediately, we note that each of our young heroes says something that goes to the core of their very characters:
“JWoww and her boobies are going to Italy.” – Jwoww
“I’m going back to the blood lines of Situation.” – The Situation
“I have no idear [sic] what I’m doing right now.” – Ronnie
“Is that a doucher, to clean your vagina?” – Snooki
“I want to find a nice, real, Italian traditional girl.” – Vinnie
“I’m doing everything in Italy.” – Gina
“If Gina’s boobies could talk, they would say: I’m a good time.” – Pauly D
We also get teased on such delights as Pauly D and Gina hooking up, Snooki and The Situation flirting (looks like our gal is over Vinnie, I suppose), Snooki and JWoww fighting, Snooki cussing up a blue streak, and Ronnie and The Situation seriously fighting (and it’s strongly implied that The Situation leaves the pad in a stretcher shortly after screeching let’s do it!).
Perhaps the biggest thing to note is what we don’t see much of: Sammi. She lurks in the background here and there but her incessant whining and fighting with Ronnie seems not to be the focus of the season, thankfully.
Jersey Shore Season Four premieres August 4th at 10pm on MTV.
You know you need to watch so just get over yourself and start practicing your fist pumping right now.