Stitchers: Kirsten vs. an angry hacker in "Hack Me If You Can"

Another episode of Stitchers ("Hack Me If You Can," S0202), and more mysteries abound!

To kick things off, Cameron is still being kind of reckless and has decided to buy a motorcycle. He's adorable about it, and there's much joy in watching him and Kirsten pretend to be a couple for the sales lady, but it's getting a little worrying how much he's changed and how little he's talking about it. Both of them have changed, and I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop and tell us that some terrible consequence of a live-person Stitch is waiting right around the corner.

Midlife crisis

They get called into work because a notorious hacker has been killed by a car, so Cameron has to not buy that bike yet. In pretty quick order, they figure out that the hacker in question was finished off by the car but that he was actually done in by his insulin pump being hacked and massively overdosing him--that's why he staggered into traffic to begin with. While she's inside his brain, she sees that he's gotten a message from someone about a website known to be where married men go to cheat on their wives.

Tracking that lead brings them to the knowledge that the hacker was married--and that she was also a hacker! She's the one who hacked his pump! But she's good at covering her tracks, and they can't find her, even though she's found them and keeps calling Kirsten to taunt her. Instead of being really villainous, she's sassy and awesome and asks them right off if Kirsten and Cameron have a ship name yet, which is totally fan-service but also totally dellightful and hits exactly the right note! Her name is Ellie, and Kirsten vows to catch her.

While they're trying to find Ellie the Hacker, we get so much fun. Camille glams up and steals info off some guy's phone to get the leads they need. Ellie gets insulted and ruins Cameron's credit score so he can't buy his bike AND gets Kirsten almost arrested for prostitution. But then she goes too far. Linus has just moved into his first apartment, and being the nerd he is, he's made it all internet-of-things-connected, and Ellie hacks his house so that the gas from the stove leaks and the lights are meant to overload. Then she tells Kirsten and Cameron and cuts off Linus's phone so they can't warn him, meaning they have to hurry across town and get there before he turns on the lights--which, of course they do, but it's close and now it's much more personal than it was.

Eventually, they get the info they need to figure out who Ellie is and where she's hiding, and catch her before she gets out of the building. Turns out she's not just a woman scorned, she's also the victim of an accident that left her in a wheelchair, and her dear hubby never once came to visit her. And then he cheated on her, which was the last straw. That's why she killed him. It was almost a disappointment that it was about that, in the end, though. She could have just been an awesome hacker with a reason of her own, but instead this made her sad and lonely and defined by the man in her life.

Right at the end of the episode, though, after they've gotten her confession and her reasoning, Kirsten asks her about how to find someone who doesn't want to be found: her father, who's been so far elusive to her searches. Cameron mentions earlier in the episode about how he thinks she's getting obsessed, but so far he hasn't done any more about it than she's done about his early midlife crisis.

Meanwhile, Camille has been keeping Fischer company as he heals. He's back on his feet, but he's slow and very sore, and it's frustrating him. Despite two bullet holes, he looks really good with a shirt off, though. Camille asks him to teach her how to defend herself, and he starts with basic boxing techniques. The two of them are sort of adorable together. She calls him "my Fishy" and he seems fond of her, and it could be really fun if it weren't for how much the two of them accidentally making out would hurt Linus. At the end of the episode, when they need a cop, he comes back to work and is more part of the team than ever. It's good to see how much the team likes him, because he had to deal with a lot of trouble from them last season before he wound up shot on their behalf, and it would have been really sad if there wasn't that warmness when he came back.

Also meanwhile, Maggie meets Les's boss, who none of them previously realized he had what with all the secrecy around everything, but instead of assigning someone new between himself and Maggie, he gives her the job and makes it pretty clear that she can't turn it down. She obviously doesn't trust him or this promotion he's presenting as a gift and a threat both, but she accepts because she has no choice. He's creepy, skulking around in the dark as she's closing the lab down for the night, and doesn't answer any of her questions, so who knows what trouble they'll get from him. The more we know about what's happening around this lab, the more mysteries there are. 

The episode as a whole was sort of an excuse for Camille and Kirsten to remind the audience that they are actually computer science majors and have a deep understanding of all things computer, but seems to mostly have been set up for Kirsten to meet Ellie. If Ellie can be a resource to help her find her father, maybe they'll keep her around and slowly win her over to the side of good. How neat would that be? (super-neat, that's how) The episode was tight and tense and silly and charming, though, and that's how Stitchers is meant to be, so the second season is still off to a nice running start!

This week's raised questions: What does it mean that Maggie is now the director of the program as well as the head of it? Is she getting replaced at the lab-level or are they just getting rid of middle men? Will her two jobs create conflicts of interest? Are they going to come back to the fact that Cameron's credit--and all the bank accounts he's ever had--were ruined by Ellie, or is that going to be fixed between episodes? It'd be interesting if he had ongoing problems about it. Where is Kirsten's father, and what is he up to? What does this new boss want with the Stitchers program? 

Other thoughts about this week's episode:

  • Linus's parents are golden. How poorly his dad is taking him moving out, and how he keeps saying it's because his mother is upset even though she obviously isn't much. How Camille pushes Linus out of the way to go hug his mom. That whole scene is perfect.
  • Where are the soldiers? There was that whole thing last week about them being there, then there's literally not a peep from them this week.
  • That really was a nice bike Cameron wanted, though, and the discussion about the wind in their hair--no, the'll be wearing helmets, never mind--was beautiful. Especially since he was the one who wrapped Kirsten's arms around his waist. He's thinking in terms of things they could do together that aren't work-related, and that's a good sign for two people who have yet to deal with their feelings about each other.
  • There were so many Stitching puns this week! And the boys both admitted to "getting ideas in the shower", which is not what Kirsten meant when she said she got an idea in the shower.
  • I love that the other people on the team are getting to have more to say, and it's good that there's this growing sense of a team. Maggie counted her team as nineteen people last week, and so they should all get their own little slivers of screen time, not just the main four!
  • You can watch Stitchers 2.2 "Hack Me If You Can" here on Hulu, or on the Freeform website or app.

    By Samantha Holloway

    About the author

    Samantha is a freelance writer, editor and book and TV reviewer. She's currently in gradschool and working on her first novel, and one day she'll rule to world. Or marry her TV. Whichever comes first. Follow! twitter.com/pirategirljack.

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