Quick Take: Swamp People, "It's Personal"
"This is the way I like to do it...swamp style." - Terral
Review: Swamp People, "It's Personal"
(S0110) My feelings about the History Channel and their current programming are well-documented, so when I was asked to write a review on the reality show Swamp People, I was a little less than enthused. Swamp People is a reality show that follows a group of toothless-inbreeds who make a living hunting gators in the Louisiana bayou. I'm not a big reality TV guy in general and I specifically don't understand the appeal of shows based on watching people work. Recently, for reasons that are beyond me, there has been a glut of shows that follow (mostly) blue-collar folks as they toil away at their thankless professions. There are shows about exterminators, and hairdressers, and pawn shop clerks (God, enough with pawn shop shows already, how many do we need?!), and meter-maids, and mechanics, and realtors, and carpenters, and lumberjacks, and fishermen, and truckers and taxidermists.
I DON'T GET IT, WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO WATCH THESE PEOPLE WORK? It's unbelievably boring! You want to watch a plumber do his job? Clog up your toilet, break out the Yellow Pages, flip to the "P" section, then wait until Chuck or Jim-Bob or Ace or whoever decides to show up. Boom, live reality TV show going on right in your very own bathroom! Uh-oh, he's pulling the snake up through pipes, I wonder what he's going to pull out?! A clump of hair? Toilet paper? A tampon? Find out after this quick commercial break!
There are five jobs, and five jobs only, that belong on television: cop, professional athlete, doctor, lawyer, and Baltimore City drug dealer. That's it. If you don't have a badge, can't run a sub-4.3 forty, don't wear scrubs, can't define habeas corpus, or don't enjoy a delicious Lake Trout sub, stay the heck off of my TV screen.
What were we talking about, again? Oh yeah, Swamp People. Boy, does Swamp People suck. I can't think of one redeeming quality about this show. I was at least hoping that it would be funny, given the fact that rednecks can often be counted on for a good zinger or two. But nope, the freaks on Swamp People can't even deliver a proper earthy, Cajun one-liner. The one thing I have to give Swamp People credit for is it certainly doesn’t kowtow to those PETA a-holes. Basically the whole show is about these people trying to lure gators close enough to their little boats so they can blast them in the head at point-blank range with a pistol or rifle. Unfortunately it’s a lot less fun to watch than it sounds.
Here's my suggestion: If you want to a watch a reality show about people from the swamps of Louisiana that is actually worth watching, go on Hulu or Google and search for "Trading Spouses: Cajuns Vs. Vegans", it's freakin' hilarious.