Quick Take: The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Mr. Las Vegas and Mr. Personality”
Patti tried to work her magic with two guys that need some help.
Review: The Millionaire Matchmaker, “Mr. Las Vegas and Mr. Personality”
(S0511) Listen: we all have our bad days at work and let’s just agree that Patti Stanger had one of those days trying to fix up her millionaires in the latest edition of The Millionaire Matchmaker, "Mr. Las Vegas and Mr. Personality." You know it’s bad when the least difficult client of the week is actually a drag queen. I say we should just blame it on Destin and Rachel for gifting her with two head shaking bachelors in one episode.
The drag queen in question is actually Frank Marino, the creator and a key performer in the famous Las Vegas strip show, Divas Live. Marino plays Joan Rivers nightly and just recently added Patti Stanger to his repertoire – so perfect! Recently out of an 18-year relationship, Vegas celeb Marino is a bit lost on how to filter out the shallow hometown gold diggers from his dating pool and find a nice, non competitive companion. At first sight, Patti’s not in love with his ebony, feathered hairdo (my ex had that hair too), but Frank shuts down any trimming of his luscious locks. However, the two are simpatico about how to deal with their shared mini celeb lives and that leaves Frank feeling comfy that Patti will find him some suitable dudes…that can deal with him in a dress every night.
Patti’s other case is Jason, the bland as cardboard CEO of Lifestyle Food in York, PA. A successful businessman in healthy grab-and-go food, Jason has been career focused and admits in 36 years he doesn’t think he’s ever been in love. Patti’s “uh-oh” eyes bug out a bit with that comment and she grills him a bit more discovering that he’s so drab and rigid he’s going to need an uptight-dectomy STAT! She has Rachel send him to an expert on dance and movement exercises to get Jason to lighten up. She has him slink along a dance floor in the world’s most awkward Seduction Moves 101 class. Jason, and we, are quickly put out of our cumulative misery as the session thankfully ends with more certainty that Patti’s going to have some trouble here.
After the mixer casting, Patti assembles a lot of potential dates for both men. She selects a range of independent, attractive, gay men for Frank. For Jason, she tries to stack the deck with his type and then some women that she thinks will draw him out of his shell.
Frank immediately takes a shine to a hunky guy named John, but he senses the interest is not reciprocated. When it’s time to select, he asks Patti to ask John so he doesn’t waste a selection and sadly, his instincts are confirmed. John admits he was hurt by the rejection but he goes for tiny Paul (a.k.a The Pocket Gay) and Alan, one of Patti’s returning favs. During the mini dates, Frank likes that Paul is feisty and a self-described sarcasm expert. He’s less excited about Alan basically having verbal diarrhea about anything and everything he holds dear in life. Overwhelmed, Frank expertly appraises that he feels like he'll get great lessons from Alan and not much of a word in edgewise. He selects Paul to meet him in Vegas for fun and a big dinner.
Meanwhile, Jason isn’t as tragic as expected at the mixer. Patti has him loosen up a bit and he selects Alison, a professional spokesperson, and Taylor, a blonde, outgoing extrovert. Jason gets super shy with Taylor at the mini date and pretty much kills the mood. Patti steps in for a pep talk and then he does better with the more reserved Allison. They have Yoga and running in common. Patti gets immediate agita because she knows the two of them are too cerebral together and she would prefer Jason go for a woman that will open him up (or just lead him around!)
At the date, Jason welcomes Allison to a lovely woodsy locale where he leads her onto a wooden raft that will take them to a private island for dinner. In a full suit in the middle of summer, Jason tries to navigate the raft with a stick. In two seconds, Jason realizes he didn’t think this romantic gesture through as Allison looks on in her stilettos with a worried forehead. They eventually make it to the island but Jason is a sweaty mess. What little game he had has leaked out with his perspiration and Allison has to try and navigate any vestiges of a conversation. It’s ugly. However, Jason thinks it’s going so well. Can we say clueless? It’s kind of sad.
In Vegas, Frank and Paul meet at the famous Fremont Street (with all the neon) and Frank reveals they are going zip-lining – a first for both men. Paul admits to the camera he doesn’t do heights without a pill or a lot of drinks. In slight terror, he keeps “joking” to Frank that they should get a shot pre zip. Frank chuckles but his radar is defintiely pinging that a Patti rule might be broken - DANGER, DANGER TWO DRINK MAX! Sure enough, they make it through the ride and at dinner Paul rewards himself with a lot of wine. Before they get their main course, Paul is three sheets to the wind and Frank is understandably annoyed yet still classy. We get a montage of Paul knocking them back at the table with Frank and during his confessionals. Frank calls the date as soon as they finish eating.
Later at Patti’s office, she talks to Allison and discovers Jason lost all his game. When he turns up and says he would like to see Allison again, Patti has to tell him the feelings not mutual. She lets him know that he needs a lot more work and to try a woman that will lead him.
On webcam, Frank tells Patti that tiny Paul was a lush and a bad date. Patti apologizes but she hopes to help him in the future with a better selection of men. He’s gracious and that’s that. No love was found and Patti pretty much calls it a scrub. Onward and upwards?
