Venom Hunters: "If he gets you, he's dumping everything he's got into you."

"Milking a snake is nothing like milking a cow. It takes a lot of experience and a little bit of crazy."

Okay then, well sign me up! This is one of the many things we learn about the world of snake wranglers who hunt around for snakes to milk their venom and sell it to be produced into anti-venom. Appropriately, the show is called Venom Hunters, and it premieres on Wednesday, February 17th, 2016 at 10:00/9:00c on Discovery.

Here's a representative clip of what we can expect from Venom Hunters:

"Back in Oklahoma, Tim caught the Western Diamondbacks he needed, but his first professional venom hunt is far from complete," voice over guy tells us.

"We'll start with the big, bad one," Tim lets us know with a heavy Oklahoma drawl. And we can all infer what the big, bad one is all about. Bonus Question: are there ever any "small, good ones" when it comes to venom hunting?

"Getting venom out of a big diamonback like this? It takes real focus," we are told. Yeah, I imagine it does.

"Watch yourself. Watch yourself!" a woman declares as the snake wrangler guy uses one of those sticks with a clamp on the end in an attempt to maneuver a ferocious-looking diamondback snake into a little sack. This is advice that is practical, applicable to many life activities, and exceedingly obvious when dealing with a monstrous-looking snake beastie (note: "monstrous-looking snake beastie" is a term that I created by myself).

venom hunters

At the risk of venturing into the hackiest Jerry Seinfeld parody territory: What's the deal with those snake wrangling sticks with the little clamp on the end of it? They can't get something better than what looks like a glorified version of one of those crane game cranes you see at the mall or in the front of roadside diners?

"If he gets you, he's dumping everything he's got into you," we then learn about how the monstrous-looking snake beasties of Venom Hunters like to operate. And then for further emphasis. "You're as good as dead."

Yeah, we get it. Snake bitey-bike bad. To be avoided at all costs. Time to break out the stick with the crane game clamp on the end. Got it.

"The diamondback dance."

My favorite move of all though is Tim AKA The Snake Wrangler Guy adjusting the stick with the clamp on the end with his mouth. That's some pro tip stuff right there.

"Just be careful," the woman adds, again helpfully yet not at all helpfully.

"Oh he's got a big head on him. Look at him," Tim says as he wraps his hand around the snake's throat.

And then we hear once more: "Guys, be careful."

In the Venom Hunting universe, you just can't hear that enough. Or maybe you can.

By Eric - TV Geek Army "Revered Leader"

About the author

Eric is the publisher and revered leader of TV Geek Army… at least in his own mind. TV Geek Army is a place for serious TV reviews and news for serious fans of great television. Contact: eric-[at] 

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