Weirdest Super Bowl Commercials of All Time: maximum bizarro

For as much as people in these here United States like to complain about the Winter is Coming-level blizzard of advertising messages we endure on a daily basis, it's fascinating that Super Bowl commercials remain a highly discussed and debated topic on game day and well into the following week.

christopher walken

With word this year (and the Super Bowl kicks off at 3:30p ET on Sunday, February 7th, 2016 on CBS for all of you kids keeping score at home) that Christopher Walken will be playing with sock puppets during one of this year's Super Bowl commercials (weird alert!), it seemed like an appropriate time to run down the weirdest Super Bowl commercials of all time.

Apple Macintosh 1984 Super Bowl Commerical

The weirdest Super Bowl commercial of all time -- and it's not even close -- is Apple's epic and bizarre Macintosh ad that ran but once during the 1984 Super Bowl. A science fiction epic very much inspired by Aldous Huxley's dark and dystopian vision, 1984 (most people at least know of it due it's frequent use of the phrase, "Big Brother is watching"), we see a bunch of workers marching in lockstep while we hear some kind of authoritarian voice talking about things like, "Pure gardens of ideology." Creepy, right? As the workers assemble in an auditorium where we can see the authoritarian dude speaking on an enormous movie screen, a woman runs through the crowd wielding an enormous sledgehammer.

A sledgehammer of change, you ask? Oh yes. She hurls the sledgehammer at the movie screen as we then learn, "On January 24th, Apple Computer will introduce Macintosh. And you'll see why 1984 won't be like "1984."

You see what they did there, right?

Epic. Bizarro. Flat out weirdest Super Bowl commercial of all time that shall never be topped.

GoDaddy's 2013 awkward makeout

A number of weird Super Bowl commercials employ unexpected combinations of sex appeal and awkward what-the-heck-is-thatedness (yeah, I just coined that phrase. It's mine now, thanks very much), and GoDaddy's 2013 Super Bowl commercial is a great and supremely weird example.

We have race car driving star Danica Patrick quickly handing over the proceedings to Bar Refaeli, an Israeli model and TV host (and also quite attractive as it turns out) and some really nerdy looking young dude named Walter (played by Jessie Heiman). And the two make out. For a long, long time. While the camera excruciatingly yet slowly pans in.

Because, Internet domain names and hosting, right?

E-Trade's 2000 Monkey n' Friends Hootenanny

Here's the story. We have two dudes that look like they could have been extras from the movie Deliverance, or better yet, the documentary, The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. And then we have a dancing monkey on a bucket, wearing an E-Trade t-shirt. And then they're listening to "La Cucaracha."

The screen then reads: "Well, we just wasted 2 million bucks. What are you doing with your money?"

This speaks for itself: weird Super Bowl commercial conceptualized and executed. Well done.

Dude yells, "High Life!" in 2009

Well, in this one a dude in a Miller Life uniform yells "High Life!"

And that's it. Seriously.

Short, sweet, super weird Super Bowl commercial.

GM's suicidal robotic ploy from 2007

This one has a narrative that will pull at your heart strings. Or electrical circuits.

A sad robot gets kicked out of the GM factory and has to hit the lonely and mean streets. Being industrious and indeed of a living wage as all robots are programmed to do, it gets one of those jobs waving For Sale signs at the side of the road.

But the robot is still sad. Very sad. So it thinks about snuffing it off a bridge. And then the sad robot actually does snuff it off the very same bridge, all while that song "All By Myself," by Celine Dion, wails in the background.

And then the robot wakes up in the factory as we learn that "everyone at GM is obsessed with quality."

You see, it was all but a dream. A dream of downfall, struggle, and suicide.

I'm ready to buy a General Motors car right now for sure.

Will Ferrell's 2013 Super Bowl Ad for Old Milwaukee

For well on a full minute we see Will Ferrell making out in the back of a bus with an Asian woman while an exotic Asian song enchants in the background. For a brief moment the camera pans out so that we can see a guy in the front of the bus holding a grocery bag that contains a six pack of Old Milwaukee beer.

This Super Bowl commercial is shot like an indie film and it has a strange, very weirdly compelling quality to it.

Weird Super Bowl commercials, we get of thee to bring on more in 2016.

 

 

 

 

By Eric - TV Geek Army "Revered Leader"

About the author

Eric is the publisher and revered leader of TV Geek Army… at least in his own mind. TV Geek Army is a place for serious TV reviews and news for serious fans of great television. Contact: eric-[at]-tvgeekarmy.com 

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